I didn't
want to go to see the fire. They told me about it two or three times already,
but I still didn't want to go there. It wasn't interesting to me to see the
burning house; all of my interest was related to the question if smoke would
reach my open window. However, it only mattered to me for a minute.
I have
completely forgotten about that fire, in fact. But then I suddenly got up, told
friend to put on a coat and made it for where I expected to see that burning
house. I had to see that fire. I kept telling myself that this way I will no
longer hear invitations to see it, but, in fact, I didn't go there because of
that. I have no idea why.
We found
the place by the crowd of onlookers. I don't remember what I've been thinking;
I just stood in the distance and watched that house burn. No one panicked. The
house was abandoned and only homeless sometimes spent time there. The
firefighters had already arrived. The house had bad reputation, there were
regular fires. And people stood there and watched the fire. And I stood there too;
I have no idea what I was thinking at that time, I only know that large embers
made me look at them and think about something. I remember that it wasn't me; I
can't describe that person who watched the fire burn from my eyes and thought
something. That person seemingly found that big fire charming. That person
probably felt the heat from it too. And then it all ended. Not did the fire
end, but it ceased to interest me.
"Let's
go."
I said this
and turned back. I already didn't know what did I find in this fire, I thought
we should return home, I couldn't get why did I go there at all. Had to pass
through the crowd of onlookers with their children again. I started from the
question of one of the children, started and grinned, but grinned much later,
when I had already long quickened my steps and was far away. He asked me:
"You
set this fire?"
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